Looking Back Over My Shoulder

The start of a new year (or the end of the previous one) is a time for looking forward, setting goals making resolutions and planning for the future. There's a general view that looking back isn't healthy and focusing on the past doesn't create a healthy mindset.  This is often the case if the previous year has been difficult, challenging or simply awful.

I disagree.

Looking back at the past can help us identify our strengths, our victories and how we can build on them.

The shepherd boy David took on the giant Goliath. He volunteered, based on his previous experience and his previous victories with God.  He knew his God; he knew his place and he knew his own history.

1 Samuel 17:
34But David said to Saul, “Your servant has been keeping his father’s sheep. When a lion or a bear came and carried off a sheep from the flock, 35I went after it, struck it and rescued the sheep from its mouth. When it turned on me, I seized it by its hair, struck it and killed it. 36Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, because he has defied the armies of the living God. 37The Lord who rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine.”

David had learned from his experiences with God, conquering lions and bears in previous years, and he used this experience with 'small things' in preparation for his next challenge.

So, look back over your shoulder, take stock and review your victories, your experience and the positives. Carry them with you (like a sling and a staff) and go take on your giants!

Just: Not Good Enough

I don't make many New Year's Resolutions.  Truth is, I'm still working through my resolutions from a few years ago: to give more than I receive; to repair not replace and so on.

This year, I have one resolution that I've already started on.  Simply put, Just: Not Good Enough.

"Daddy, come and play with me!'
'I'm just washing the dishes.'
'Just give me a second, I'm just tidying the floor.'
'I'm just sending an email.'
'I'm just checking Facebook'.

And so on.

So this year, I'm going to stop saying "just". If I'm washing my hands, my face, the dishes or whatever, then that's what I'm doing. Saying "just" makes it less important, and makes your request to play or set up your game or whatever even less important. "Just" is not a good enough word to use.

And if you ever catch me saying "just" in my prayers, tell me. I don't usually use "just" but you never know.  Imagine:

"Mighty Father God, maker of the universe, please would you just lift my headache for half an hour."
'30 minutes? Are you sure?'
"Yes, and i pray that you would just bless the meeting at church this morning."
'And this afternoon? When you all go back home?'
"Just this morning is fine, thanks."
'Are you sure??'
"Yeah, and we just pray... that you would just..."

So, I'm going to lift the lid on what I pray for. I don't say "just" verbally when I pray, but I mentally contain God in what I ask for. I've been getting better at asking for the Moon (so to speak) and expanding what I pray for, and asking for bigger things, and this is my main aim for 2020.

Just: Not Good Enough.

2019 in reflection

At the end of 2018 I wrote a summary reflection of the year, and the theme I identified was "first times". 2019 seems to have been similar, with a surprising number of first times. However, the other main theme for the year has been change (I suppose if you do something for the first time it's either the cause or consequence of change).

My three children now all go to the same school, with our youngest moving from pre-school nursery to primary school nursery. It's a subtle distinction, but it now means that Daddy's Taxi only has to make one drop in the morning. 2020 will see our oldest child start high school, which will mean more significant changes ahead.

Planning further ahead into the future, we had a conservatory built onto the back of our house in 2019, and that led to significant change (I still don't think of it as part of our house, and it's been finished for three months now).  It's given us more living space, and in time will become my office during the daytime, as we move things around in the future.

While I was on a work experience placement from high school, the desk I was borrowing had a desk calendar with a daily motto, and one that I saw (and kept) was "Unless we know what we want ), we stand a poor chance of getting it." Over the years, that motto has helped me identify what I actually want, and to work towards it.  This year, I have taken that a step further and extended it to, "And if we don't ask for it, we really won't get it."  What do I want to drink? What would I like for dinner? What do I want to do this weekend? What do I want for Christmas? I've started changing what I say - and how I think - so that if you ask me what I want,  I'm more likely to tell you. And sometimes, it's actually up to me to say what I want to do. I'm lifting the lid on what I think I can do, or what I'm supposed to do, or what I think I'm allowed to do (usually inside my own head) and instead of discounting my own ideas myself (I could never do that), I'm at least going to say what I want first!

So, 2019 has been a year of change - internal and external - and is likely to lead to more change next year.

Happy New Year, and may you ask for what you want.