New Year's Resolution - Don't moan, complain.

One of my New Year's Resolution's for 2018 is this: don't moan, complain.

What's the difference?

We're very good, as a society, at moaning. Social media has made it even easier to bend our friends' ears about the latest irritation that we've had to suffer: long queues; poor service; sub-standard goods; cold food; inept staff; rude checkout assistants... the list goes on. And we think that sharing our dreadful experience with our friends will avenge us on the service provider - we "warn" our friends against giving their money to the same company and encourage them to support their competitors instead.

That is not complaining; that's moaning.

Moaning: telling everyone about a terrible experience - except the people who (1) caused your inconvenience and/or (2) are in a position to fix your situation or provide redress.  

Complaining: approaching the person who provided the poor service; the lousy product; the long wait or the cold food, and asking them to please fix it.

I don't tend to complain - I think it's rude; I don't want to cause a scene; I don't want to be an inconvenience; I think should just tolerate it and make it a character-building opportunity.

However, I think it's time to make a change, and - when necessary  - to complain instead of biting my tongue (I'd like to think I don't moan much, but the principle is the same). Some stores, cinemas and so on ask for feedback - some shops will enter you for a prize draw if you do - which is a good place to start, but how about this: if you think you're going to go home and then tomorrow tell your friends how bad this place/shop/meal was today, why not tell the staff today? Or at least contact their complaints department so that they can actually do something about it. Make a difference, so that they can make a difference too.

My New Year's Resolutions, over the years:

My New Year's Resolutions for 2017
Spend Less Time on Trivial Matters
Give More Than I Receive
Repair, Not Replace
Produce More Than I Consume
A review of my 2017 resolutions
Don't Moan, Complain

2017 New Year's Resolutions, Reviewed

At the start of 2017, I made four New Year's Resolutions.  We're now half way through 2017, so this seems like a good point to review my progress on each of them.

1.  To give more than I receive
On the surface,I think this one has been easier than the others. It's been an exciting challenge, and throughout the year I (and we as a family) have  given away all sorts of items - but we've still received many things too.  I had my 40th birthday in February and was astonished by the generosity of my friends, which made giving more than receiving a real challenge.  I was also very pleased by my friends who made charitable donations on my behalf, and a survival shelter (UNHCR) and drinking water for 10 people (Oxfam) were donated for me.   This is giving and receiving simultaneously - I love it.

However, this has also been very challenging:  who am I giving to, and is it really giving?

Matthew 5:46-47
If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 

So, it's great to be able to post items on Facebook ("Free to good home...") but it's also self-filtering, since I'll only be giving to my friends ("those who love me") - so is that really rewarding? And it's hardly giving in secret if it's plastered all over social media.  And that's something else: it's difficult to say, "Oh yes, I'm doing really well at giving," without sounding like I'm boasting about it.  So I'll reiterate that it's been challenging to give to strangers, and to give without expecting reward, and I'll mention this verse, which has been a source of encouragement to me.

Proverbs 19:17
Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the LORD, and he will repay him for his deed.

And we will continue to make regular donations to our local Salvation Army shops. 

2.  To spend less time on trivial matters

Trivial matters are things that serve absolutely no practical purpose. Except that sometimes a bit of no practical purpose is a good thing.  Sometimes, after a busy day at work and having put the children to bed, trivial matters are a welcome break.  So no, I haven't completely cut out social media, TV, DVDs and the like, but I'm spending far less time on Facebook, almost zero time on Twitter and I am being more selective about what I watch on television.  And deleting the Facebook app from my phone was a good move - I'm no longer interrupted by the latest event being promoted by someone I follow, or by "Somebody else commented on the post you commented on a couple of days ago."  I am gently nudging myself to do something else while watching TV in the evenings... like writing articles for this blog, for example.

It's also made me think about what's actually trivial.  Building a Lego model with my children:  trivial or important?

3. To produce more than I consume 

No.  I am producing more than last year, and I am consuming less (and of better quality), but I don't think I'll ever tip the balance. After all, I have only one mouth but two ears.  However, there are a number of things I've 'produced' this year (and this is just a selection I can recall off the top of my head):

- A board game to play with two of my children (we titled it "Back to Base", and it's a huge three-player game played on a triangular board, currently on its fourth version)

- Pieces to play "Back to Base" (we each need five pieces, and they've become more elaborate over the months).  This has become almost a repair-not-replace, as I've kitbashed a number of figures from other games (for example, a figure of Christophe from Frozen - as found in a charity shop - became an astronaut with a camera).

- More blog posts than last year - that's easy to measure (this will be number 13 this year, compared to 14 for the whole of last year), and now I'm aiming to improve my quality as well as quantity.

- Various VHS to DVD conversions for friends (family weddings, for example)

- A couple of pieces of music (in draft)
And I am consuming less - yes.  Less TV, for sure.  I'm reading instead - and mostly non-fiction.

4.  Repair, not replace

This hasn't been on my mind as much as the others (I had to look it up to remember what it was); I've repaired various toys for my children, and made various fixes around the house, but I haven't consciously repaired anything I'd otherwise have thrown away.

With one exception:  one of my pairs of jeans developed a small hole, and so I decided to patch it up.  It was only a small hole that wasn't immediately obvious, so only needed sewing back together and a small patch. I completed the repair with a small patch on the inside to hold my sewing together.  I then realised that the jeans were actually too small, so they went in the charity shop bag.  Repaired, not replaced, and then given away: two for the price of one! :-)

I will provide another update around Christmas time (when I shall be able to work on my giving!).

My New Year's Resolutions, over the years:

My New Year's Resolutions for 2017
Spend Less Time on Trivial Matters
Give More Than I Receive
Repair, Not Replace
Produce More Than I Consume
A review of my 2017 resolutions
Don't Moan, Complain

Ten Things I learned from not quite reading the Bible in A Year

My 2016 sort-of New Year's Resolution was to read the Bible in a year. I've not tried it before - and it wasn't until the start of February that I decided to go for it. I'd read all of Genesis in 2015, so in order to catch up, I started with Exodus. The church I attend was providing reading plans showing that it was possible, and what to read each day. I started February by keeping track and ticking boxes, but then I lost my reading plan in the middle of May 2016 - and carried on anyway. I didn't quite manage it (it's late January 2017 and I'm still in 1 Corinthians), but here's what I learned.

1. Reading the Bible in a year is a lot like running the four-minute mile.  It's likely that you'll be so busy trying to read your daily quota and trying to keep up the pace that you won't have much time to think and you certainly won't get chance to smell the roses.  It's relentless, and if you start slowing down, you'll need to up your pace for the following days just to keep up. If you want to read, consider, ponder and meditate on the Bible, then you're going to have to go more slowly.

2.  If you read the Bible chronologically in a year, you're in for a tough ride. If you read it sequentially (from cover to cover, like I did) it's going to be challenging.  For a start, you won't meet Jesus in the flesh until September or October.  That's a long time.  You'll get plenty of hints and clues about him, but he doesn't arrive until the last quarter of the year. Hang on in there.

3.  It's more fun reading it when we're winning.  Moses, Joshua, Saul, David, Solomon, Gideon and so on - all big winners, and all interesting and easy to read.  It's definitely easier than some of the later stuff, when it's doom and gloom; exiles and punishment; warnings, wrath and judgement.  The narrative of the early Old Testament is more straightforward than some of the symbolic stuff that comes later on.

4.  April will feel like a repeat of March as you read 1 and 2 Chronicles after 1 and 2 Samuel and 1 and 2 Kings.

5.  There are spoilers all the way through the Old Testament.  The prophets persistently warn about desolation, destruction and devastation, but they almost all break off briefly to say, "God's going to send somebody to fix all your mess."  Keep reading - it's worth it to find these snippets, and they'll keep you going through Lamentations, and the last few minor prophets.

6.  Some of it is downright confusing (even the Old Testament).  When they aren't warning God's people, or telling them to repent, or reassuring them that God will send somebody to help, some of them even have visions of heaven, or of the distant future.  You thought the living creatures and the elders were only in Revelation?  So did I, until this year.

7.  Your speed through the Bible will probably change dramatically, depending on where you are.  It's possible to "read" large parts of Numbers very quickly - 132,000 of this tribe, 89,000 of that tribe, and so on. Remember how I said reading the Bible in a year is like running a four-minute mile?  Well, this mile-long track is not flat; you'll definitely run different parts of it at different speeds.

8.  When you do reach the start of the New Testament, it'll feel like a breath of fresh air.  Yes, there's the genealogy stuff that we had in the early parts of the Old Testament, but it gets going again - and you'll slow down again. There's just so much happening in each chapter. And when I finally started picking up the pace (through Acts), I slowed down again (Romans, with its exceptionally long, parenthetical, phrases, and therefore I couldn't go as quickly - or as rapidly, therefore - as I could through some of the other books).

9.  On the subject of the New Testament: one advantage to reading sequentially is that you start to notice themes and patterns that you wouldn't spot if you were just reading sections or passages.

For example:  Matthew's gospel frequently refers to "your heavenly Father", which is a very welcome change after God Above in the Old Testament.  There really is a massive change of tone between Jesus and the prophets who came before him - Jesus really knows about heaven.  Mark - immediately.  Jesus is quite clearly in a hurry.  Everything is immediately.  Matthew spends a few chapters with Jesus' genealogy, birth and childhood.  But Mark?  "This is the good news about Jesus: this is what he did first", and Jesus has carried out miracles by the end of the first chapter.   Luke - I didn't find anything specific in Luke, but John is all about "eternal life."  Inheriting it, getting it, having it.  I don't remember reading much about eternal life in the other gospels, so John is clearly compensating :-)

10.  Regular reading works.  I try to read at the same time each day, after the children have gone to bed and are settling down to sleep.  This works providing they sleep at the same time, and the rest of the daily routine works.  I didn't read as much when we were on holiday, and I didn't read as quickly when they stayed up late or didn't go to sleep as usual.  If you can find a fixed, regular time, that'll probably work better.

It's now late January, and as I said, I'm working through 1 Corinthians, with a view to completing the New Testament by the end of February... the finish line is in sight!  This year, I'm taking a far more measured approach - when I've finally completed the New Testament, I'm just going to loop round the gospels for a bit.  The aim of reading the Bible in a year isn't really to read all the pages in 365 days.  It isn't even to read all the pages eventually (although it's a worthwhile aim).  It's to learn to read the Bible regularly.  It's not about running a four-minute mile, it's about building strength and keeping fit.

Other articles I've written based on Biblical principles

10 things I learned from not quite reading the Bible in a year
Advent and a Trip to London
Advent: Names and Titles
Reading Matthew 1
My reading of Matthew 2
The Parable of the 99 Sheep

Producing more than I consume

We are a nation, a society, even, of consumers.  We buy stuff in the shops, we eat remarkable quantities of food and we consume huge amounts of online content.  Netflix, TV, YouTube, Facebook, online apps, games and so on, are all on-demand and all available 24/7/365, all encouraging (or enabling) us to sit back and consume as much of what we want whenever we want.

My fourth New Year's Resolution is to personally call my own halt to excessive consumption, with the challenge that I will produce more than I consume.  My main focus for consumption will be online media (Facebook, Twitter and YouTube) and for production - anything.  Anything creative, from this blog, to online video (if I ever produce any), or meaningful and relevant Facebook content, to pictures, music, writing, drawing and whatever creative outlet I feel like using.  I'd like to aim to produce and output more than I absorb.

And that's something else - I don't want to just 'absorb' - I want to be more selective in what I watch, read and listen to.  

I may not be able to produce more than I consume  (after all, I have two eyes, two ears and only one mouth), I shall be working to close the gap between the two.  If I monitor the quality of what I consume and deliberately work to produce meaningful and high-quality output (works; music; blog content; video or whatever) - then I will consider the resolution to have been a success. We shall see!  

My New Year's Resolutions, over the years:

My New Year's Resolutions for 2017
Spend Less Time on Trivial Matters
Give More Than I Receive
Repair, Not Replace
Produce More Than I Consume
A review of my 2017 resolutions
Don't Moan, Complain

Repair not Replace

My third new year's resolution is to repair not replace, and to make the most of what I have instead of always looking for the next new big thing.  

I have a steady supply of superglue, a small vice; jeweller's screwdrivers and a "handy desk tool", for repairing minor damage to most plastic toys, along with a set of tools that will cover most domestic tasks. I'm getting quite good at repairing toys, so I'm learning some (useful) skills too - certainly more useful than just flashing the cash on replacement items. Repairing not replacing is not only cheaper - after all, superglue and sellotape are not that expensive - but it's also more environmentally friendly. The mix of materials in a typical household item (especially a toy) makes it unlikely to be recyclable. 

In our modern culture, things don't even need to be broken before we replace them.  Adverts frequently tell us that we need the new model, latest version or the updated device. However, I know that I don't need to replace my computer, the one I have can either be upgraded or left as it is. My digital piano (17 years old) works, is connected to my PC (itself now about six years old) and both are still adequate for my needs. So instead of following the norm of endlessly replacing and throwing away, I will continue to work towards getting the very best out of what I have - by doing unusual things such as reading instructions and reading books about music, photography and so on (borrowed from the library) to enable me to do those things better.  There are more important things in life than always having the newest stuff:

Then Jesus told them, "Be careful to guard yourselves against every kind of greed, because a person's life doesn't consist of the amount of possessions he has."  Luke 12:15, ISV

But godliness with contentment is great gain.  1 Timothy 6:6, NIV

Finally, buying more stuff is going to make it harder for me to have less stuff at the end of the year than at the start, which is one my aims for the year, in line with another of my resolutions - to give away more than I receive.  Next time - producing more than I consume.

My New Year's Resolutions, over the years:

My New Year's Resolutions for 2017
Spend Less Time on Trivial Matters
Give More Than I Receive
Repair, Not Replace
Produce More Than I Consume
A review of my 2017 resolutions
Don't Moan, Complain

Giving Away More Than I Receive

New Year's Resolution number two is to give away more than I receive, and it's as simple as it sounds. Also, I'm anticipating that it will be the easiest to achieve, but we'll see.

I have, over the years, accumulated a large amount of stuff, and I now have far more material possessions than I really need which take up more space than I can really manage. Stuff is becoming clutter and so I've decided enough is enough.

Do I really need two bikes? No. I may have ridden my old bike all round Cambridge when I was a student, but it's worn out and is well past repairing  (I replaced it 18 months ago *because* it was beyond repairing back then). So why have I still got it? Sentimental attachment. I'm not exactly a hoarder, but... :-) 

So, anything that I have but only have a sentimental attachment to: it's going. I'll be donating bags of usable stuff to charity shops, offering items on social media and forums and so on.  I already have plans to donate my old bike to a charity that specialises in restoring and repairing rusty bicycles.

Additionally, we have been given many, many things recently - and we're constantly being given or offered more things (baby clothes and toys are good examples).  In the same way, our children are growing through their clothes and it makes sense to pass them on too. I've said before that it feels like we just can't give things away fast enough.

More importantly:

"Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."  Luke 6:38

"Freely you have received. Freely give." Matthew 10:8

“Anyone who has two shirts should share with the one who has none, and anyone who has food should do the same.” Luke 3:11

"[Remembering] the words the Lord Jesus himself said: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.' " Acts 20:35

My New Year's Resolutions, over the years:

My New Year's Resolutions for 2017
Spend Less Time on Trivial Matters
Give More Than I Receive
Repair, Not Replace
Produce More Than I Consume
A review of my 2017 resolutions
Don't Moan, Complain

Spending Less Time On Trivial Matters

My first New Year's Resolution is to spend less time on trivial matters. That's pretty broad, so let me expand on it.

Trivial matters are things that serve absolutely no practical purpose at all. There's no end product, no benefit and typically no real aim to them. They vary for each of us but Facebook, YouTube and other social media probably rank quite highly on the list - they certainly do for me. According to my Facebook year-in-review video, I clicked the Like button over 10,000 times - and I found that alarming.

So, this year, the first thing I've done is to delete the Facebook app from my phone. It's been a great change: I no longer get any notifications direct to my phone, so I am completely free from the cycle of post, get notification, post comment, read updates, get notifications, read comments, and so on. I do still read and update information on Facebook, but it's when I want to and not just because I received an update 30 seconds ago. I'm also busier living life without thinking I have to update social media with my latest thoughts just because I thought them.

The twitter app is next to go. I rarely tweet, but still suffer updates from the app.  Life is better and more productive without trivial interruptions.  And that's the point: to make the most of the day by not wasting it on procrastination or unproductive activities. 

There are other pastimes that can quickly become waste-times: for me, computer games and game apps are next. I've hardly had time to play any computer games since Lizzie was born, and certainly not since Ben was born - and that was five years ago. They are games, by definition they're trivial and unproductive - especially if they're just solo games when they're solo games - I'm not even socialising.

Having said that, playing with my children is not a trivial matter - spending time with them is vital, whether that's talking, playing or just spending time with them. That's what the trivial matters are being pushed aside for.

Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Colossians 4:5

Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Ephesians 5:15-16

Make the most of every opportunity. Spend less time on trivial matters.

My New Year's Resolutions, over the years:

My New Year's Resolutions for 2017
Spend Less Time on Trivial Matters
Give More Than I Receive
Repair, Not Replace
Produce More Than I Consume
A review of my 2017 resolutions
Don't Moan, Complain

My New Year's Resolutions

I don't usually make New Year's Resolutions, but this year I am, and I am sharing them as a reminder to myself.

1. Spend less time on trivial matters.

The definition of trivial matters is pretty vague, but is almost certainly going to cover social media. Apparently I pressed the Like button over 10,000 times this year, which alarmed me. I've just deleted the Facebook app from my phone - let's see how that goes. And I probably won't be spending any time playing computer games.

2. Give more than I receive.

Not the same as spend more than I earn, but to have less stuff by the end of next December.  My family and I have been given so many things by so many people over the last 12 months or so, and we've been passing stuff on, but we've still seemed to receive more than we've given and I've commented, "We can't give stuff away fast enough." This year, I aim to actively de-clutter, donate and give more than I receive. Maybe my computer game collection will be the first to have less in it...

3. Repair not replace.

Make do and mend, in other words. In addition to this, I'd like to work on getting the best and the most out of what I already own (computer, piano,  synthesiser, camera, and so on) instead of reaching for the next new thing.

4. Produce more than I consume.

In short, this probably means less YouTube and Facebook, and less TV, and instead, more writing, blogging, calculating and composing. This may not be not possible, (after all, we have two ears but only one mouth) but to at least strive towards a better balance.  We're all creative creatures, and I aim to spend more time creating instead of just watching TV or browsing Facebook every evening. 

My New Year's Resolutions, over the years:

My New Year's Resolutions for 2017
Spend Less Time on Trivial Matters
Give More Than I Receive
Repair, Not Replace
Produce More Than I Consume
A review of my 2017 resolutions
Don't Moan, Complain